Bathroom Banksy: Proofing and Peeing

You just can’t escape poor punctuation.

While taking a recent “break,” in the men’s room, I looked up to see a few lyrics from a rock song scrawled on the wall in front of me. Not all that uncommon in a college bathroom.

The words were from The Outfield’s 1996 hit “Your Love." I am guessing our graffiti artist didn’t pay attention in writing class.

He wrote the first line of the song as follows:
“Josies on a vacation far away.”

Any grammar geek will notice the missing apostrophe in the first word faster than you can say “one-hit wonder.” Clearly, the contraction stands for “Josie IS on a vacation far away.” Still, our bathroom Banksy missed it and that leaves me in a dilemma.

The editor in me wants to pull out a red marker and correct the error, but would that make me a vandal as well? Who said proofing was easy?

Breaking News: Radio's Big Lie

Remember the pre-Fox News Alert world? When bulletins were actually news worthy? Now, it seems, breaking news is nothing more than a teaser.

Like a Pavlovian dog, my ears perked up when I heard the phrase “Breaking News” on NYC’s WCBS Newsradio 880 this morning. Actually, the complete phrase was “Breaking News coming up after this…”

What followed was a commercial, then a promo for the TV show “Undercover Boss.” Then came the breaking news.

In his book “Amusing Ourselves to Death,” Neil Postman wrote about the phrase “Now this…” He lamented how reporters (“talking hair-doos”) move from tragedy to trade without giving any story its due.

Now, “Breaking News” has become its polar bookend. Devoid of meaning and dangled like a lure designed to catch the biggest audience share. As a sportsman, I know fish eventually wise up. They learn to differentiate between lures and real bait and move on. If only we could do the same.

PR Success: Learn to Win by Watching the NY Giants Lose

The text books are full of great ideas from successful organizations. The real lessons, however, are found in times of despair.

Take the NY Giants. Following a series of missteps, their season is slowly spiraling out of control. It’s easy to put on a brave face when you’re winning, but we often see an organization’s true colors when the losing starts.

While the Giant’s on-field aptitude remains in question, their communications are at a championship level. The next time your organization finds itself on a losing streak, take these cues from the Giant’s PR playbook.

Take Ownership
The only thing Americans likes less than losers are liars. Week after week the Giants step up to the media and take full responsibility for their woeful play. It might be easy for coaches and quarterbacks to pass the buck, but there were times last week when Coach Tom Coughlin seemed to be battling with Eli Manning to see who could shoulder the most blame.

Don’t Point Fingers
United we stand, divided we fall, and all that. We still remember that motto for one main reason: it’s true. Note that there is a clear distinction between honestly discussing your failures and pointing fingers. It’s perfectly fine for Manning to say a player ran the wrong route, but watch how he doesn’t harp on it, and most every interview ends with him saying he must play better.

Stick to Your Routine
A change in routine signals disorganization and panic. Many Giants players and coaches have regularly-schedule media appearances in our New York market. And they keep them, even though they know full well that they are in for a grilling. Man up and move on.

Keep in In-House
Nothing comes from losing unless you take a good hard look at why it’s happening. You can bet that behind closed doors the Giants are yelling, passing the buck and pointing fingers. Working through the issue is the only way to beat it. But they know the difference between hashing it out in private and airing it out in public.

Remember, by maintaining a solid communications plan during hard times, you are one step closer to winning. And as Vince Lombardi once said, “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.”

Binge-Watching: Four Keys to Success

In the pre-DVR era, I used to videotape sporting events to watch at a later time. During those tenuous hours between recording and viewing I walked on egg shells for fear I would unwittingly discover the game’s outcome. Friends had to be avoided for fear of a score leak. Newscasts? Verboten! I went radio silent until I saw the time-shifted game for myself.

Now, media goes with us, and so do the games. However, I still walk on egg shells and the reason can be summed up in two words: “Breaking Bad.” As I binge watch my way through Season Four, every day is a minefield through which I tip toe, leaving the smallest footprints this side of Al Gore.

So far, I have been successful. Outside, it’s 2013, but in my media mind it’s still the summer of 2011 and the fourth season of “Breaking Bad” is as fresh as the coffee I gulp to stay up and watch “just one more episode.” But my success has been no accident. It takes sharply-honed avoidance skills to win at this game. So no matter what your binge du jour, here are a few tips to help keep you in the dark.

Declare Your Intentions
If you are binge watching an old show, make sure your friends, family, associates, mail carrier and everyone in between knows what you are up to. You can offer those closest to you rewards for their spoiler-keeping abilities. Dinner, drinks, maybe both. Conversely, if you are in a position of power, threaten those around you who might let the odd plot twist slip. If my college students tell me anything more specific than “Sklyer is a bitch,” they know they will fail.

Hold Your Tongue
There’s a reason certain TV programs are called “water cooler” shows. People love to talk about them. Discussing your binge passion with others, no matter how tempting, is an invitation for disaster. Go about your business. Draw no attention to your secret life. As the Pollo Man says, “hide in plain sight.”

Be Like the Ostrich
We are exposed to thousands of messages a day, and only a handful of them come from people we know. Not only is Big Brother watching; he’s talking too. And he is intent on tipping off your binge storyline. Web sites, TV commercials, morning radio zoo crews and award shows are only a few of the outlets you need to avoid during your watching period. Put your head in the sand and avoid them all. Period.

Hyper-Binge
The longer it takes you to finish your viewing, the more likely someone will divulge sensitive information. Therefore, reduce your spoiler window and watch as much as you can as fast as you can.

In short, the successful binge watcher is an anti-social creature who must put a good chunk of their life on hold in order to scratch their viewing itch. Is it worth it? You bet. And if anyone ridicules you for obsessing over a season of television that has long past, just channel your inner Heisenberg, look them in the eye and say “Over? It’s not over until I say it’s over.”